I know that my unhappiness is costing us, costing me, more than I'm willing to pay. Ultimately, I have to believe that I'm worth betting on and that living a life of fulfillment is worth the cost of discomfort: not because I believe I will become wildly successful and the bet will pay off but because my happiness is worth more than the relative security of a job that's making me miserable. Because I can't pretend that I'm doing it for anyone but myself. That's why claiming a career that lights me up feels so deeply transgressive. I was raised in a society that told me that my needs should matter less than the comfort of those around me - that I was supposed to be the one to sacrifice, to set aside my dreams, to be a good wife and mother. It's hard to put a value on my own happiness, and I find myself conditioned to cast it aside in favor of serving others. It all comes back to that essential question: How much is my happiness worth? I was always told to set my dreams aside to be a good wife and mom But assuming I can't completely replace or exceed my current income, I worry that the guilt of feeling selfish will haunt me. I keep waffling, wondering whether I can hit the dollar amount that I feel will make the transition "worth it" for me. It's so incredibly difficult to overcome the hurdle of feeling selfish for pursuing fulfillment when I know it will influence other people in my life, especially my husband and kids. Can I really ask everyone else to sacrifice for my dreams and happiness? Our family-vacation budget will become all but dry. It's entirely possible that my kids might not be able to do as many extracurricular activities. Even worse, I know that the financial stress will make me tetchy and force me to be frugal. I know this choice will put the weight of being the "breadwinner" onto my husband's shoulders. Even though he's shown nothing but support for my new plan, there's that voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm doing him dirty.ĭoing the work that lights up my soul sounds great, but is it really worth the risk when there are other people counting on my income? We have three kids, a mortgage, and responsibilities. Am I selfish?Įver since telling my husband I'm quitting my day job, I've wondered whether I'm being selfish by following my dreams. This is a choice that takes away the stability of my family's finances, and I can't pretend otherwise. If you want to apply for more than one open position, please notify our recruitment team when they contact you that you have submitted more than one application. It would be one thing if my decision affected only me, but this choice has repercussions for the people I share my life with. Set up your login and profile Submit your application Please note that we cannot accept email, fax, or paper copies of your resume or CV as an application. Short of getting my book under Oprah's nose, my whole career is likely to be a ride that makes my stomach drop on the regular. Yes, I can work hard and likely make ends meet, but there's never any real guarantee of success. I've been a full-time writer before, and I know the stressful roller coaster of income insecurity that comes with it. While part of me is relieved to be quitting a job that feels like death by a thousand paper cuts, it scares me deeply because I know how risky this choice is. "But even at my lowest levels of productivity, the automated processes I build serve tens of thousands of customers a day, and rake in millions and millions of dollars of revenue for the company every year.Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders. "Sometimes I feel like a six-figure slacker," the user called BobcatRoyal wrote. In the US, the media total pay for a software engineer is about $107,362 a year, per GlassDoor. Other users who claimed to be software engineers in the thread described similar work levels. One poster, u/BobcatRoyal, who described his role as a "code monkey" said his job requires "less than 30 hours of actual 'work' work" per week and vacillates between short periods of 50-60 hour weeks and longer stretches of 15-20 hour work weeks. Though, tech giants like Microsoft, Google, and Meta have been hit hard by layoffs in recent months, several posters said they've found smaller companies are eager for more workers. Many Reddit users said they work in tech. "Had my 6 month review and was told, 'You're wonderful to work with and really talented.' The only bad thing is that even working as little as I do, they still think I work really fast so I'm getting a lot of new projects added to my list." "Just spent the last 2 hours watching 'Boston Legal,'" u/BlueMountainDace wrote. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
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